November 1, 2007

  • It’s Nothing

    I live my life like I’m wearing a mask which has a smile on it all the time. Under it, lies doubt, uncertainty, and frustration.

    I notice most of my posts had been very neutral, which cannot tell whether I’m happy or sad. Maybe it’s because I feel vulnerable to let my feelings out.

    Even now as I type this, I’m gingerly choosing my words, automatically becoming neutral again, trying to assure my readers that I’m okay, trying not to rouse other people’s concerns for me. I don’t want to sound as though I’m calling for attention.

    I’ve been.. thinking a lot lately. Thoughts all in a flurry. They’re always swirling in my mind and after a while, I push them aside. No solutions for my dilemmas. Just taking them out and putting them back in. And doing that over and over again.