in all my anger i am writing this.
after breakfast with jon, we went for a little drive before he left for church for music practice. we came upon a Christian cemetery. he said his grandfather was buried there. i thought since we were there, so might as well visit his grave.
we were the only mortals on that burial ground, until an indian man appeared behind us. as jon led the way to his grandfather’s grave, the man, wearing only blue jeans and his arms streaked with white paint followed.
initially i thought he wanted to get over to the other side of the graveyard, but i was wrong. he followed us up until we reached the grave. so i thought we was the caretaker. or undertaker. whichever la.
without a word, he proceeded to pull weeds around the grave. i could sense that he was up to something. people just don’t be nice to strangers without expecting anything in return. that’s the harsh reality. of course they are some who really are nice to people they don’t know without any hidden motives, but obviously, not this man.
he then asked us whether we wanted to paint the grave, “mau cat?” and hand gestured to ask us whether we want to dig up or move his grave (what the..) and we said, “no. we are just here to visit.”
not too long after that, we made our way to the exit. he followed us too without a word. when we reached the car, he demanded “Lima.” jon was already at the driver’s seat, he opened his coin compartment and dug up coins. i was still waiting for jon to unlock the car door on the passenger side so that i could get in and be safe from that man.
when he saw that jon was digging coins for him, boy, he was furious.
“jangan main-main, saya jaga tempat sini punya. RM10!”
i was like, what the *toot*.. being really vulnerable outside the car, i didn’t dare to sound too fierce. i said to him, “tadi kata RM5?”
he looked at me with those unfriendly eyes of his and said gruffly, “RM10.”
jon was afraid that we would harm his grandfather’s grave, so he handed him a ten ringgit note.
seriously, i was so so so angry at that man. he doesn’t even own that graveyard! like he’d take care of the grave when we paid him. i thought we could visit in peace, but no, he had to come along and con us. he didn’t even pull ALL the weeds around the grave. and he was rude and disrespectful to us!
we could’ve sped off and ignored the man. but we couldn’t because i was locked out of the car. XD even if he really harms the grave, let him do it. see whether jon’s grandfather’s spirit will deal with him or not. harm and see la. he’d be disrespecting the dead. could be worse than disrespecting mortals.
Lord, how to love our enemies? it’s close to impossible. at first i really thought it was easy, but this morning i realised it’s so so so hard to love someone like that man. but all things are possible, so i believe one day i’d be able to forgive him. but not now.
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